What God Has Been Teaching Me Lately
Let's Give Us Something to Talk About
This month I enjoyed the rare privilege of spending two whole days with a great friend. At the end of the first wonderful day with Lisa, I caught up with Phil on the phone and he asked, "What did you do today?" I told him we went to coffee shops and talked, shopped and talked, then went to two different restaurants and talked some more! It was clear he was perplexed by how fulfilled I was by such mediocre activity and so much talking, but he bravely asked the next question. "What are you going to do tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat, I told him we were going to coffee shops to talk, going to shop and talk, and going to restaurants to talk even more! Well, that about did Phil in! He was speechless at all our talking!
Women tend to enjoy talking. But this may be a shocker--I am not a woman who tends to enjoy talking! I am a woman who enjoys conversation...and there's a difference. If we don't pay attention, in all our talking we can simply exercise our power of speech but miss the power of conversation.
A life-giving conversation includes questions and answers, talking and listening, confusion and clarity and laughter and tears. Conversation is not a monologue or a spectator sport. And it's not a deluge of words bombarding the other person! It's an exchange of interest with words as the currency. We ask pointed questions to our interlocutor and then willingly talk about ourselves and our views. Effective conversation should be wisely arranged, balanced and thoughtful. No one does that better than Lisa.
So, I'll fill you in on one of the best conversations Lisa initiated during our visit. She asked me to use one adjective and one noun to describe myself currently and then one adjective and one noun to describe my ideal self.
I should have used the adjective "forgetful" to describe my current self because I can't remember which adjective I settled on! I know I did determine that this set of parts of speech describes me-- "secure receiver." And, as I thought out loud with her about my ideal self, I went back and forth between "settled seeker" and "curious rester." So, what about you? What adjective and noun best captures you? Which adjective and noun best represent your ideal self? If you don't have a friend to talk to about this, consider honestly beginning a conversation with yourself!
Let's be women of quality conversations, not just many words. Guard yourself against the tendency to give self-centered monologues; it can actually reveal more about you than you realize. It can show your unwillingness to actually disclose yourself in conversation to a friend. "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. " (Friedrich Nietzsche)
Paul, the apostle of many relevant words encouraged, "Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone." (Colossians 4:6 NLT) One of my goals this new year is to be a woman of gracious and effective conversation, not just a gabby gal of many mindless words!
Well, that's what's been percolating in me lately!
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