Java with Jennifer Journal

A Person Rather Than a Philosophy

I sat before my television like millions did on Friday, February 19, 2010 listening to acclaimed golfer Tiger Woods confess his infidelity and ask for forgiveness.  I was struck by his articulate and seemingly honest admission and presentation.  I respected his privacy and the way he was seeking to repair and manage the mess he had caused.  I was reminded once again how broken we humans can be—even the shiniest and most polished among us can be so, so broken.  As I listened, I felt grateful for how he was handling this tragic situation.  But then, I felt disappointment and concern.

 

After myriad apologies, Tiger told the listening world he was raised a Buddhist, and actively practiced his faith from childhood.  My disappointment was not in the fact that his faith differed from mine.  I admire that Tiger is seeking faith or religion to help him.  But, my concern was that his search may find him without the hope he is seeking.  Tiger said; “Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside us causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint.”  I certainly don’t know all the tenants of Buddhism-I claim no expertise.   It is laudable Buddhism “teaches”   him to stop following every impulse and learn restraint.  But, it doesn’t “empower” him to do so.

 

That huge inequity breaks my heart.  Tiger, like millions who follow Buddhism, do so with full sincerity.  I respect their sincere search for truth.  But, I need a religion that does more than “teach” me to be more than I am; I need a God Who “enables” me to be.  I need a faith that not only teaches me, but empowers me to be more than I could be on my own.  Left to myself, my very best is powerless to be disciplined.   Without divine help, I’m incapable of not following all my impulses.  Without the power of God’s Holy Spirit, I would have no restraint or reason for restraint.  It is only the fruit of God’s Spirit within that enables a person to have self control.  It is only the living presence of God in the life of Tiger Woods that will empower him to act with restraint and die to impulses.  I write this with no judgment.  We are ALL sinners—each one of us—me included!   We are all needy seekers.  I long for Tiger to receive what he really longs for—peace and restoration.  He won’t “learn” peace and restoration from philosophy; he will only receive those from the hand of the living God.

  

From the reading I’ve done on Buddhism, it’s clear it has many virtues and many tenets to live by that contain elements of truth.  But, philosophies that teach some truth enlighten you—they don’t empower you.  Only “The Truth” empowers you.  Jesus boldly claimed that He is The Way, The Truth and The Life.  His claim may be audacious, but embracing it and Him has set me free.  Because He is The Truth, I am empowered to walk in truth.  Because He is The Way, I am divinely enabled to follow Him on a path of peace and purpose; because He is The Life, I live.

 

A philosophy is something you live by, but it will never give you life.  Jesus came that you may have life.   I guess I write this because there are a lot of “Tigers” in the world.  There are so many broken but polished; seeking but misguided souls.  Before Christ found me, I was one of them.  Now I have peace.  May no one read this and think I am condemning Tiger or Buddhists; I am humbly suggesting exploring the person of Christ who empowers rather than settling for a philosophy that enlightens.

“…for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you.” 1Chronicles 28:9

What Johnny and Chachi Taught Me About Marriage

In honor of Valentines Day, I've got some marriage tips for all my friends. Dr. Phil and I laughed our heads off.

The Green Scarf

After being iced in and snowed under in North Carolina for two days, we were all getting hotel fever! We’d spent the better part of Saturday in what we called the “war room.”   It was one of the hotel’s conference rooms but it could have served as a regional travel agency.  We had several lap tops and cell phones constantly chirping, buzzing and beeping.  This was all to try to get the Fresh Grounded Faith team out of the frozen tundra of North Carolina and back home safely!  There we all sat with lukewarm coffee and waning hopes trying to book flights.  Our team consisted of Shelley and John Jennings, our very talented worship leader and her great husband; Theresa Wiggins, our amazing FGF National Director; Angela Schmidt, our new assistant who continually impresses me; me and Phil; Connor, our fun-loving 11 year old and Abby Rike, a participant on the show The Biggest Loser-Season 8.  We were quite a crew!

About 4:00, we had finally booked flights and rental cars and were ready to change the scenery.  So, “Let’s go shopping” was the collective cry from the war room.  “Yeah, and let’s buy something matching to wear so we’ll always remember this weekend!”  We thought about gloves, socks and some unmentionables we could buy, and then settled on scarves.  So, we piled in the rental car and slid across the ice to Target!  Once inside, the girls went one way and the guys another. The girls all surrounded the shelf of scarves and began pulling them off their hooks for examination.  “Oh, you would look good in this one,” Theresa would say.  “I want the one that looks like tapestry,” said Shelley.  Angela spotted a blue one and cried, “That’s my color!”  “I’ll take which ever you guys don’t want,” I said, “I can’t see them anyway!”  Abby spotted a bright green one and began to overflow with loud enthusiasm, “Oh, I want the green one.  It would go great with my jacket.  It’s such a great green!”

Everyone oohed and awed, as women do, expressing our affirmation.  Our scarf collection would be complete as soon as Abby could wrap that bright green scarf that was as vibrant as her personality around her neck.  But, before she could pull it from the rack, a hand shot from the side of the shelf and snagged it from right before our eyes!  The clearly female, sweater draped arm came out of nowhere as if someone shot an arrow from a bow!  That hand was attached to a very stealth and fast moving woman who disappeared into the sock section before we could even grasp what had just happened.  “She took my scarf!”  Abby squealed. “Where did she go?” one asked.  Abby ran around the back of the shelf loudly inquiring about her green scarf but the woman was gone.  She was gone with Abby’s green scarf.

   

We were incredulous.  The thief knew we were just seconds from taking that scarf off the hook and draping it around Abby’s neck.  There is no way she could not have known that scarf was spoken for.  Believe me; the now green scarfed woman knew quite well that was Abby’s scarf—the people in the front of the store, in the McDonalds across the street and even the citizens in the neighboring state of South Carolina knew that scarf was spoken for because my new friend Abby isn’t the quiet, shy type!  She was loud; we were all loud.  And, after the theft, we were all loudly protesting and lamenting the loss of the green scarf there in the accessory department of Target!  Evidently, the stealing stranger either really wanted to be in our club or just really needed that shade scarf.

Well, Abby settled for a lovely cream colored scarf trimmed in fringe.  We all wore our scarves the rest of the weekend and wondered who that woman was.  So, sister, if it’s you…may I remind you green is the color of envy and according to Kermit, “its not easy being green!”

January 2010 Taste This!

What I Am In To Lately

 

This Java is a little late because I was stuck in ice-laden North Carolina with a dead computer battery!  We were there for the Greenville Fresh Grounded Faith event and had a warm, wonderful night on Friday despite the sleet and snow.  Lisa Whelchel spoke about being connected with God and each other.  She was so effective.  The women just loved her, and as her friend, I was so proud of the way God used her to encourage us all.  By the way, her new book is called Friendship for Grown-Ups, and it will be out in May.  I got to give it a sneak peak, and you will really like this inside glimpse into her world and how to enjoy friendships as adults. 

 

The big surprise of the weekend was spending it with Abby Rike.  She was on last season's The Biggest Loser.  What an adorable, funny, quirky, warm and wise woman!  She treated us with a surprise appearance on Friday night.  We sat at the bistro table on stage and talked about losing her husband, 5-year-old daughter and newborn son in a car wreck.  She helped each of us face our grief as she exposed her own and inspired us all to find our comfort in God rather than food.   

 

I look forward to her, along with Lisa, joining us for more Fresh Grounded Faith events this year. They both know what it's like to be in a pit and feel God pull them out. 

 

"I waited patiently for the Lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit;

He set my feet on a rock.

He put a new song in my mouth."

 

Those poetic expressions of Psalm 40 are the basis for Beth Moore's compelling book, Get Out of That Pit.  That's the book I read this month.  Actually, it felt less like reading and more like being coached!  Beth helped me understand what it's like to be in a pit, how we get there, and how to get out.  She really does give straight talk--immersed in scripture and a southern accent--and she makes you feel like a friend.

 

If you ever find yourself in a pit, be it shallow or deep, seemingly permanent or temporary, you will really benefit from this stirring message of the sheer hope, utter deliverance and complete freedom of God.  I'm glad I gave this excellent "living author" a taste test!  I love Beth and this message was rich.

 

Speaking of rich, oh man, I am pumped about Sara Groves' new project--Fireflies and Songs.  It's an honest musical journey into her heart.  As usual, her lyrics explore the depths and nuances of our human relationships.  What I loved about this CD is she lets us into her life; but then I realize as I listen, "It's my life, too!"  My favorite song is "Twice as Good."  It reminds me of friends who've been loyal and loving, and who have invited me into their lives.  It reminds me of old friends like Lisa, new friends like Abby and makes me celebrate the women we hung out with in North Carolina this past weekend.  

 

Some of my most treasured friends are the awesome FGF team.  To deal with being iced in, we went to Target and bought scarves.  You must check out what happened to the green scarf, though. Maybe she is a new friend?   

 

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Unknown

 

So, give these things a taste test:

 

1.  Get out of That Pit by Beth Moore

2.  Fireflies and Songs by Sara Groves

3.  Come to one of our Fresh Grounded Faith events this year.     

     It's real women dealing with real life and connecting with the real
     God.  I would love to have you join us!

January 2010 Fresh Grounded Thoughts

What God Has Been Teaching Me Lately

The Cantus Firmus

 

Romel Joseph, a Haitian violinist, learned he was completely surrounded by rubble and chunks of broken concrete solely by groping in the darkness.  He felt through the wreckage that enclosed him to confirm he was utterly confined by debris. The school which he founded and where he taught crumbled around and upon him during the massive earthquake that shook Haiti this month.  He was encased in total darkness, but darkness was not unfamiliar to Joseph, for the gifted musician had been blind since birth.  "I was completely surrounded by concrete," he said. "So, in my head I knew I wasn't going to get out."

 

The Juilliard graduate realized very quickly he was stuck.  There was no way he could get out on his own.  But amazingly, he didn't panic. Instead, he drew upon the resources he knew would help him survive.  He explained to an NPR reporter that he tried to keep a very strict schedule.   A portion of every hour that passed, he spent in prayer. He then spent the second part of each hour rehearsing his favorite classical music pieces.  In the stifling heat and darkness of that rubble and hopelessness, he reviewed each song, note by note, in his head.

 

"For example, if I perform the Franck sonata, which is 35 minutes long in my honors recital at Juilliard, then I would bring myself to that time," Joseph told NPR reporter Guy Raz. "That allows me not only to kill time, but also to mentally take myself out of the space where I was."

 

Joseph rehearsed symphonies and concertos in his mind for 18 long hours.  He heard each note, sensed the pitch, kept the rhythm and felt the music.  Finally, his friends were able to clear the debris that was crushing his leg and mercilessly confining him. Joseph was rescued and flown to Miami where he's recovering from multiple surgeries.

 

He lost his school, and so sadly, he also lost his pregnant wife in the quake.  He may have lost the use of his left hand to the falling debris that crushed it, too.  Only time will tell.  But what he had in his darkness and fear, what he had when he had nothing else, was the music in his heart, and it sustained him. 

 

We, too, have a song within us when our world shakes and falls around us.  The song we hear on the inside must be louder and clearer than any noise that threatens to distract or terrify us from the outside.  There are times when we are surrounded by dark despair and stifling imprisonment.  There are times when our world crumbles around us.  There is no light.  There is no hope.  There is no way of escape.  We simply feel alone in the desolation of our own souls.  But within that solitude and trap, there can be a song.  A persistent melody we can listen to and sing along one note at a time.  It can be the cantus firmus of our very lives.   The cantus firmus, which means "fixed song," is a pre-existing melody which forms the basis of a polyphonic composition.  Though a song may twist in pitch and style, the cantus firmus is the enduring melody throughout the entire composition.  Though it may not always be in the forefront, that one melody line prevails through every ebb and flow, every change in rhythm, every tempo variation.  For one who believes in and follows Christ, the cantus firmus is the very peace and presence of God.  The Psalmist recounted: "...at night his song is with me."  And that song was "a prayer to the God of my life." (Psalm 42:8)

 

The more clatter that fills my world and the more melodies that compete for my attention, the louder I hear the cantus firmus resounding in my head and heart.   My cantus firmus is God Himself.  "The LORD is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation. "  (Exodus 15:2) 

 

How would I survive 18 hours in the solitary confinement of concrete rubble and crushed dreams?  Would it be the cantus firmus in my heart that would sustain me?  How do I survive the darkness of my own world, the confinement of my weaknesses, and the rubble of my own despair?  The cantus firmus. There is no other melody. 

 

What is the melody of your life?  What is your cantus firmus?  If it is any other than God Himself, I fear it will not sustain you in your darkest hour. But, when He is our cantus firmus, His melody will endure long after we, the frail, poor choristers, cease to sing.

Well, that's what's been percolating in me lately!

January 2010 Spill the Beans

You Ask It, I'll Answer It

 

Question:

 

I just completed your Bible study Me, Myself and Lies.  It was extremely rewarding and beneficial to me.  I just have one question.  First, a little background on me.  I have been very blessed.  I was raised in church by great parents and married a great Christian man and have two daughters.  I try so diligently to lead a devout Christian life in my job.  Most people at my job do not lead Christian lifestyles, so I feel I have to work extremely hard to lead by example.

 

I have one serious problem that I really have trouble keeping under control, and that is my mouth.  I can't keep anything a secret.  I pray everyday that God will help me keep my mouth shut. 

 

I have really been very good all year until now.  I overheard something about my boss that involved my co-workers, and we were discussing it before work one morning.  Later, somehow the boss heard about it and confronted me in front of my peers.  Very embarrassing.  I do not understand why I always get caught.  Everyone was discussing it, but he only heard that it was me.  It ruined my entire Christmas vacation and I am in deep depression. 

 

What do you do if you have these bad thoughts in your thought closet and they are warranted?  I am truly in the wrong and I should not be gossiping.  I do not want to be known as a gossip.  I want to be able to keep my mouth shut.  The only thing I know to do is to isolate myself at work and just stay to myself.  I do not have any good feelings in my thought closet at all now about myself. 

 

Signed, 

-Anonymous-

 

Answer:

 

Oh, I hear your heart.  I am sorry you have no good feelings in your thought closet about yourself right now.  Thankfully, feelings change so I am counting on our Father to remind you of truth so your feelings will line up and obey His Word.  But, you asked me what to do.  After really thinking about this, praying about your situation and realizing how much I struggle, too, with controlling my mouth....

 

Here's what I do--stop trying and die to yourself.  Self control is a fruit of the spirit, not a fruit of your striving.  Admit you are powerless to control your mouth and that you need God's power to override your flesh.  This admission should fill your thought closet with freedom and truth, and thus, appropriate feelings about yourself.  You are not able to pull off perfect obedience in your own power; you need God.  Dying to self so He can be alive in you will allow you to see yourself in the shadow of the cross.  In that position, you will see your great value and your great need.  Do not despair, do not give up, do not isolate yourself.  Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.

 

Dying to self is the lesson I am learning, and dying hurts.  But there is great freedom there.  When you are no longer stifling the fruit of God's spirit by your own striving, the fruit of self control, joy, meekness and myriad other fruit will spring out of you in spite of yourself!  Isn't that what we want sister?!

 

A practical thing I do is pray the Scripture in Psalm 19:13, 14.  Actually, meditating upon all of Psalm 19 will fill your thought closet with hopeful truth.  Also, I meditate upon and pray James1:19--that God would make me quick to listen and slow to speak--since I am naturally the opposite of that!  

 

The last thing you should do is beat yourself up.  You made a mistake. Remember that who you are and what you struggle with are not the same thing!  The enemy is the one who likes to beat us up; don't help him.  God gives you grace.  Give grace to yourself, too.  Trust God more than your feelings.  Walk humbly with your God as you walk through your days in your job and others will see a flawed, grace-filled, redeemed, loving, beautiful woman.  That, my friend, is who you are, so put that in your thought closet from me!

 

Peace to you, 

Jennifer

And, now the beans are officially spilled!

January 2010 Prayer Requests from Jennifer

I need your prayers - if you have time, will you please consider praying for me? Here is my prayer list for this month:
  

1.  From the response I received to last months Java, it is clear we have some sisters who are dealing with depression.  Let's pray for each other and be present in the lives of those in need.

 

2.  I've been dealing with some serious "writer's block", but it seems to be lifting!  I am shouting a big "thank You Lord" but am also asking for prayer that God would continue to ignite my creativity and protect me from the schemes of the enemy.

 

3.  Please keep praying for our Fresh Grounded Faith events.  We began the year with sold out events and really want God to move and reign in our gatherings.

 

I thank my God every time I remember you...