November 2010 Fresh Grounded Thoughts

What God Has Been Teaching Me Lately 

Singing Big

Well, by now, you must know that I am a pretty honest girl.  I tend to tell first and think later!   But I really thought about this before I chose to share it.  This month, I thought I would share something very personal with you from my journal.  The reason I am letting you sneak a peek is because I learned a lot from the experience.  I think it may encourage you. 

You see, blindness and menopause created the perfect formula for depression.  For me, it was a long year and a half of dealing with it, and finally I am in a good place.  But, all along the way, I tried to sing big.  This entry is from last summer when I was looking up from the bottom of the pit.   As you read, you'll see what I mean by "singing big!"

July 11, 2010

I can hear the birds outside my window.  They're chirping without care.  I don't think they realize how small they are compared to the rest of us.  They sing big like they are the ones in charge of things today.  I love how they make melody without heed to anything else that goes on around them.  I wish I was like those birds.  I have reason to sing big.  I have been drawn close to God and He has loved and carried me.  Isn't that enough of a reason to sing big?

But lately, I cower in my own sorrow.  I am small and quite aware of it.  I willed myself to get up and pour coffee this morning.  I will go to church and sit and chat and sing and listen and I, in my own frail way, will worship.  I need to do this.  I must get out and do what I can to walk through this sorrow with faith.  Even my little steps of faith by getting out of the house and going to church and smiling and paying attention to others is my way to sing big.  Blah, blah, blah...la, la, la!  Help me, Lord, to sing big the song you put in me. 

In the thick of my depression, with what seemed like tiny steps, tiny shaky notes were my way of singing big.  Pouring coffee, going to church, worshipping, paying attention to others...these were all ways for me to sing big.  They seem small to me now, but then they were mammoth steps of faith.  We all have opportunities to sing big.  For each of us, singing big may sound different.  For some, the smallest act of faith is the way they sing big.  For others, big attempts and risks are the way they sing big.  

It's not the volume of the song, the length of the song or the complexity of the melody that denotes we're singing big.  It's the size of our faith that determines when we're singing big.  And, God knows what singing big is for you.  He loves to hear your melody of trust. 

Do you sing big?  What would singing big look like for you?  Once you identify it, do it.  Let God put His song in your heart and sing, sing, sing...BIG! 

"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD."  (Psalm 40:2, 3)

Well, that's what's been percolating in me lately.

Comments

[Marybeth]

I really don't sing big, it's more like a croak. Anyways, I will take a walk in the neighborhood just to clean the cobwebs out of my brain and the tears from my eyes, talking with the Lord, counting the dogs and cats along the route, visiting with any neighbors I happen to meet. It's really quite small, but it does seem to help.

[Carolyn]

Dear Jennifer,
I was directed to your website by a dear friend of mine. And at the perfect time. I'm going through a marital crisis. It's been escalating for 9 years now. As I face the day to day uncertainties and pain I am sure that God is with me and I am confident in this one thing that God will never leave me nor forsake me, and the HE LOVES ME. This sharing of Singing Big ministered to me. It has encouraged me and helped me to press on. You see God reveals what I pray for through vessels like yourself. I asked God to help me and sustain me while I wait on His direction. And your testimony has helped me to look more to God for He is the lifter up of my head. I sing on the Worship Team at church and am constantly criticized by my husband. And I made a vow that I would continue to sing for this is the calling of God on my life. And no one will remove that calling but God.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. God bless you and keep you.

[Barbara Di Gilio]

Dear Jennifer,
What God has been teaching me is that we really need to trust Him in all thing both great and small. I believe the Lord has spoken the words: "Overflow" and "Raining down" to me for Believers in 2011. We need to expect God things from Heaven (God) in Two Thousand Eleven. I love you, and thank you for your wonderful witness of what Christ can do in a persons life.