Dear Jennifer,
I ordered your book Lessons I Learned in the Dark because I felt like the Lord put that book in my heart for the struggle I have been in. I will not bore you with the decades-long deal or the more recent crises of health and faith. I started to read it the other day and decided to read slowly and thoughtfully and hear what God might be saying to me. And I was getting good applicable insight and some gentle and not-so-gentle kicks in the behind. But it was good--until I got to the chapter on receiving gifts. Honestly, I became angry because what I was reading I could not relate to the picture I get of my loving heavenly Father. I was angry because you used the scripture about giving thanks IN all circumstances and then listed "difficult gifts" that we should receive with thanks. This list included blindness, illness, broken relationships and wayward children. I am not blind but have suffered continually and increasingly physically for decades, since before I even knew anything about God. Both of my teenage kids have rejected God and me. But if I am to understand you, I should thank God FOR these things, as "difficult gifts" from God! That makes no sense to me AT ALL. Why would God give the "gift" of wayward children??? Where does it say THAT in God's word? I know I sound really angry and like I started to read the book just so I could say a bunch of bad stuff about you, but that is honestly not the case. But how CAN I thank God for the things that have ravaged my body and stolen my life? How can I thank God FOR migraine headaches that put me in bed for sometimes two days? I understand that we can gain great things FROM our difficult circumstances: grace, an increased reliance on Him, steadfastness in prayer, longsuffering, unselfishness, as well as having comfort with which to comfort others who have similar trials that we were victorious in. (Romans 8 and II Corinthians 1) If I'm thankful for these "difficult gifts," then I would not have the right to want them to change or be healed, right?
I know you don't actually read your emails, even if you could "read" them in the traditional sighted way, but I very much hope that whoever does read this one will give it to you to answer. I really need to understand what you mean so I can continue in your book without my brain arguing the whole way.
Thank you so very much,
_____ (Name withheld to protect our sister)
Answer:
Hi_____,
Thanks for your honest email. Okay sister, here's my clarification. The scripture, as I read it, tells us to give thanks "in" all circumstances, not "for" all things. So, as tough as it is, I do believe we can be thankful in the midst of our sorrow due to wayward kids, in the trauma of pain during a migraine and in the black despair of blindness. I personally cannot do that in my own strength, though. I need God's grace within me to help me agree with His word. If I was not totally clear, I apologize. The difficult gift may not be the wayward children, but the difficult gift you receive in the package of wayward children could be extra reliance on God, or a renewed understanding of the Father's love, or patience that is beyond your ability. The gift is not necessarily the suffering, but the gift is what you receive because of the suffering, when and if you choose to be thankful in all things. I hope this helps a little. The Holy Spirit is a much better teacher than I, and so I pray He leads you into all truth, and counsels and guides you. Thanks for your question.
Peace to you, sister,
Jennifer
And, now the beans are officially spilled!
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