I am going through a very difficult time in my life. I'm in my 60's and I was probably deaf since birth, but no one knew! My family never really said anything about it, so I went through school not knowing. (Amazing how the other senses kick in.) I learned to compensate.
I depend on reading lips and anyone behind me has freedom to talk behind my back. I sat in a Precepts Bible Study and asked, "Please repeat anything anyone else says and the right answers." The response, "Well, if there is anything you don't hear, let me know." Hello! Teacher talking into a black board does not give me "hearing." (I no longer attend the studies.)
So obviously, I have an anger problem. After all these years you'd think I'd come to acceptance. Actually, when I first learned what the implication of my hearing loss was at the age of 40, I said, "Well, they didn't know," but today, I'm mad.
I read stories like yours that had parents who were tuned in to their child's needs. People like yourself who have testimonies of loving, caring parents who walked through those beginning years of awareness.
So often, I feel so left out, and I know there is a time I'm just going to have to accept the loss and the implications. I'm angry and no one seems to understand. I recently spoke to a young pastor who has a hearing loss. His response to one of my dilemmas was, "If you figure it out, let me know."
Now that I've written what I have, I ask why. I loved your book. I laughed, identified with your pain and cried. I guess I just need some encouragement. Thanks for listening.
I get it! It stinks and you're stuck with it. I am sorry you have to deal with this. But, I know you can, and within it and even in spite of it, you can be free. I think people's lack of responsiveness and the isolation you feel is worse than the hearing loss itself.
So, here is my encouragement. From one sister to another, being angry is only hurting you. I don't want you to be hurt any longer. Episodes of frustration are legit, but clothing yourself in anger is more damaging than hearing loss and people's lack of understanding. I want you to be free from what is hurting you most. Evidently, God has a purpose for your deafness. I know the purpose is not for you to be locked up in anger and unforgiveness toward your parents. So, can you ask God for the grace to let go of anger? He will give it to you.
To be in your 60's is great. You have walked many miles and have wisdom to offer others. None of us ever really figure it all out. We just trust, walk humbly and choose to laugh at what we can! We can't control blindness or deafness, but we can control our attitudes. So, sister...ask God for grace, receive it and then give it to those who hurt you.
I believe in His ability, I believe in you and I believe in Him in you!
Now, go and live free.
And now the beans are officially spilled.