Chapter 2: Disciplining or Destructive?

The following interviews appear in the Self Talk, Soul Talk book.

An Interview with Marilyn Meberg  

Marilyn Meberg is a licensed therapist, an author, and a professional speaker. Listen in on our conversation for a moment as Marilyn described her own self talk to me.

Jennifer: Do you ever speak to yourself with self-condemnation? What if you do something stupid? Do you ever say, ‘Marilyn, you knucklehead!’

Marilyn: (Laughs) A million times.

Jennifer: But not to the extent that it’s a real problem?

Marilyn: (Laughs even louder) Of course to the extent that it’s a problem! But when I speak to myself that way, sometimes I need to hear that. Sometimes I’ve done a dumb thing, a tactless thing, something that is lacking wisdom. And I will chastise myself, and I need to hear that sometimes. It’s like a parent has to discipline a child. I discipline myself. “Now Marylyn, you could avoid that next time, if you would just…"

Jennifer: So you counsel yourself?

Marilyn: I take myself into my office and I have a chat. And when I come out of the office, I either want my money back, or I’ll say, “You know, that was good.” That’s constructive, not condemning though. As you know, there are some levels of self-condemnation that are damaging.

Jennifer: How do you know the difference?

Marilyn: Oh, sometimes I need the correction. Sometimes I need the discipline. Sometimes I need to own the truth. That’s instruction. That’s good for me. That builds me up. But when I feel condemned, like I’m not good enough, that’s not instructive.  That’s destructive. Instruction brings life; condemnation brings destruction.

Comments

[Lisa]

I know God is working on me...while reading chapter 2, I realized that I have so much negative stuff in my thought closet that it is overflowing into my daily life not just my self talk. This is very disheartening. I don't want to be this way. The tongue is deadly! I do not like the words that I hear coming from my lips, but they are out and have done the damage and I can't take them back. I am hurting people that God has entrusted to my care with the words that come from my mouth. They are the same things I say to myself. I am praying that God will help me push aside the destructive thoughts and replace them with uplifting ones and that those will be the words that come out of my mouth. This ties in to so much of what is happening in my life that I believe this is God answering my prayer of wanting to live a life that shows His love. Your prayers are needed and appreciated.

[Lynn Judson]

I lead a bible study group and your book is awesome but the website you have provided has really helped me dig in a little deeper. There are about 35 in my bible study group and probably someone in that group has experienced every situation you have talked about. I am blessed with two girls of my own and will be talking with them about how they talk to themselves. Just think how incredible it would have been to have this information at 10 instead of ??. We are only on chapter 2 and loving your book.

Thank you so much,

The Bible Babes